Is Falling In Love Made You Feel That Way?

I don't like you, Park. 

I think I live for you. 

I don't think I even breathe when we're not together. 

Which means when I see you on Monday morning, it's been like sixty hours since I've taken a breath. That's probably why I'm so crabby, and why I snap at you. 

All I do when we're apart is think about you, and all I do when we're together is panic. 

Because every second feels so important. 

And because I'm so out of control, I can't help myself.

I'm not even mine anymore, I'm yours, and what if you decide that you don't want me? 

How could you want me like I want you?

Well, actually, I haven't ever feel that way. Is it real falling in love will make you feel so?

Tell me.

And anyway, pieces above from Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell.

Cheers,
D.

I Remember It All Too Well

Maybe we got lost in translation, 

Maybe I asked for too much?

And maybe this thing was a masterpiece,

Til you tore it all up,
Running scared, I was there, 

I remember it all too well..

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise,

So casually cruel in the name of being honest,
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here,
Cause I remember it all, all, all too well.

 

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

D.

One and Eight

 

One candle I blowed on the top of my pizza today,

Eight slices pizza I already ate following the day,

One big hug I gave to mom and dad this morning,

Eight times bigger smile they gave to me, 

One relationship ended some days before,

Eight warmer hearts actually offered by families since I was born,

One big thank you I whispered to God when I wake up today,

Eight good things Allah suddenly gave me even I don't ask.

Alhamdulillah for the super amazing eighteen years that I had,

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

Thank you ya Allah for the age.

Thank you Allah for the healthy, wealthy, and all bless you gave.

Thank you Papa, Mama, family, and friends for the kind wishes and prayers.

Thank you, you.

Happy birthday, D.

Maybe You'll Find Someone

Once in a lifetime maybe you'll find someone

Who steals your attention

But you're still too young to do anything

Once in a lifetime maybe you'll find someone

Who makes you fall for

But has no intention to catch you

Once in a lifetime maybe you'll find someone

Who introduces you to lots of new things and playing a role as teacher and opener of your gate

But can't continue accompanying you to the rest of your journey

Cerita: Akhirnya Semua Kakak Saya Sudah Resmi Menikah

Bulan lalu, saya bercerita akhirnya kakak saya menikah, kakak perempuan saya, Mba Ocha. Lalu, malam ini, saya baru saja pulang dari Gedung Balai Kartika, tempat kakak laki-laki saya, Mas Ido menyelenggarakan acara resepsi pernikahannya. Iya, 10 Mei 2015 ini, kedua kakak saya resmi sudah menikah.

Tau nggak apa yang terjadi tadi pagi, jam sembilan pagi, sebelum rombongan keluarga kami menuju rumah pengantin perempuan untuk melakukan akad nikah?

Saya nangis di kamar, ngunci kamar. Nangis sendirian. Padahal udah dandan udah pake baju mau berangkat, tiba-tiba saya menciut. Ga terima. Ga rela. Ga mau. Gamau semua ninggalin saya, adik terkecilnya gitu aja. Delapan belas tahun saya tinggal di rumah ini, tiba-tiba mereka mau pergi aja gitu? Gaada juga pernah, mereka berdua, mau mba Ocha mau mas Ido, ga ada yang pernah bilang ke saya kalau mau menikah dan pergi.

Saya sedih.
Saya ditinggalin.
Saya sendirian.

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