2016: Learning Through Insecurities

Hi. Another new year is coming! 

Everyone on Instagram is really busy to shows their new year vibes by talking about 2016. Then I will also bring some of my 2016 vibes here, to fill some blank spaces in this blog. Hahaha. 2016 has been amazing, this year already brought me to new places, let me met new friends, and gave me new experiences. I learned lots of things this year. For me, as the third-year undergraduate students, 2016 has been the most productive year I made. I keep learning things I’ve known, while also trying to face new opportunities and challenges.

Then here I would like to wrap-up one or two things I successfully (and some foolishly aborted) experienced so far in 2016. These short stories are my own experience when trying-to-achieve-goals. Mostly in the form of becoming delegation of my universities for competitions and forums. Because the only thing I can share is what I’ve experienced by myself. Hahaha. Anyway, I thought it might me more useful for you who still in the sophomore year because you can try what I've done and nailed it better. Then for the other, just read it through ya! Hahaha.

Accounting Competition

I am an accounting student. I do learn accounting. I joined accounting competition. There, I failed. Hahaha. The type of accounting competition that I (and my teammates) joined is olympiad kind of things, the point is we should answer questions to get scores. The first step of the competition is preliminary, where we should answer questions and submit it online. And we always pass it through the preliminary step, so we could go to the real competition in the universities held. Then, after arrived at the destination, there are some phases like answering questions (always), quiz, answer question in a game, answer questions in a race, and other modified stages. And, we, always pass until the semifinal, that is the maximum. HAHAHA. As I noticed, we’ve been experienced it on 17^th Indonesia Accounting Fair of Universitas Indonesia, National Accounting Olympiad of 2016 Gadjah Mada Accounting Days in Universitas Gadjah Mada, and Diponegoro Accounting Competition 2016 of Universitas Diponegoro. Even we end up never win it, the experience and thrill as a first-timer doing it was super intense. UI was our first destination and our first attempt, and that was irreplaceable. I would like to express my gratitude to Rasyid and Fanny, my super lol teammates. I knew we have never won Depok, Jogja, and Semarang, but at least we’ve ever feel a super happy journey. Thank you, teammates!

Aku Belum Pernah Merasa Seikhlas Ini

Sampai saat ini, aku merasa bahwa diriku hanya sekedar perempuan biasa. Masih banyak kurangnya, kataku. Masih harus belajar banyak hal, batinku. Namun, beberapa orang di luar sana mengatakan bahwa aku cukup menarik. Aku bisa diajak ngobrol kesana-sini, katanya. Aku bisa membuat orang nyaman berada di sekitarku, ujarnya. 

Mendengar pendapat orang lain mengenai diriku, secara tidak langsung meningkatkan kepercayaan diri ini. Membuatku merasa tidak bersalah untuk bangga atas satu dua hal yang kumiliki dan kucapai sampai saat ini. Mereka bilang, aku cukup cantik. Mereka bilang, aku pintar. Mereka kata, aku berprestasi. Mereka pun bertanya-tanya, laki-laki seperti apa yang mampu mendampingiku?

Satu dua kali, atau bahkan lebih, aku pernah dekat dengan laki-laki di lingkunganku. Satu dua kali, mereka bilang aku hanya memberi harapan palsu. Satu dua kali, bahkan lebih, mereka bilang susah untuk menggapaiku. Aku bingung, aku harus bangga karena memiliki kekuatan sebesar itu atau sedih karena orang-orang justru menganggap aku terlalu susah untuk diraih?